‘Perfect is boring, human is beautiful‘
I just started modeling about a year ago. I’ve always wanted too, and I’ve always been a little diva. But I have also always struggled with self-confidence. I think it mainly stemmed from growing up in a promptly white state, and my mother also being white could not relate. In fact, knowingly or unknowingly she was part of the problem blaming my eating habits for my thickness, not taking in my father’s genetics as a factor, and he wasn’t around to tell me different. So I ended up developing an eating disorder and body dysmorphia. I compared my beauty to the Eurocentric standards of beauty; therefore, I was never satisfied.
It wasn’t until I was diagnosed with lupus that I decided I had had enough self-bashing. My hair was falling out, and my skin was blotching, my body was weak from fighting its self. I couldn’t take my mind being unhealthy as well. So it was time to learn to love and accept me. I’m not going to lie I still struggle to this day, but I refuse to submit to my demons, and if I genuinely want to be a good role model for my kids, I need to show them that happiness starts with loving yourself.
I practice that with positive affirmations, doing things I enjoy doing, reading, and dancing, etc. When I feel myself getting down on myself, such as wanting to cancel a shoot because I’ve gained a few pounds, I refuse. I look at Ashley Graham’s photos for inspiration. Ashley is a beautiful woman who works her curves and radiates self-confidence, and that to me is what I aspire to do.
Agnes and Dora were one of the first companies to book me for modeling. I still remember how excited I was when the rep reached out to me. I’ve worked with them a few other times and each time is a great experience. I will always have a fondness for Agnes & Dora because they took a chance on me. Year one has been exciting, and I met some talented artists (photographers, clothing designers, models, etc.) that are mad geniuses in their own right. I know this is just a side thing for me. My passion is still trying to help and change lives for the better by working with the youth, but it doesn’t mean I am any less driven or stoked about seeing what the future holds with modeling.
Thanks for reading,