I long for days to feel the warmth of the sun, knowing that my wish is a dangerous one…
I miss the sun.
I miss not being afraid, I miss the hikes, I miss the bike rides, I miss the walks, I miss laying on the grass soaking up the sun rays. I tear up thinking of the way my life has to be a now. Nonetheless, I am grateful it could be so much worse. I do get to enjoy some sun as long as I protect myself, use lots of sunscreens, hats, and carry my parasol not all is lost. I don’t go out for leisure during certain hours, either early morning or after 6 pm is when I can enjoy the summer.
While I do enjoy some of the daylight it’s still hard I feel like a prisoner cooped up. Instead of winter blues, I have summer sadness. I’m a summer baby, I’ve always love to be naked and free in nature. But now I have limits of how much sun I can intake if I push my limits which my limits are very short I instantly flair. It’s only the beginning of June and I’ve already had three additional visits to the doctors for issues with lupus. I can’t accept that this is it. I will not give up my love affair with the sun, I will find homeopathic remedies that will cure me, I know I will.
This is one of the last days I spent outside before I got sick. I’ve spent the last two weeks inside. I’m not gonna say it was not worth because I enjoyed every minute of it.